The Chaser…

“I Can’t Be Great For People Who Are Bad For Me And I Had To Learn That I Needed To Stop Chasing After Relationships That Were Fading”

– Alexandra Elle, Love in My Language

Why do we chase men? Especially those who can’t do sh*t for us. I see so many women chasing men, instead of chasing their dreams or chasing money. I see women outside, yelling and screaming after a man who has nothing to offer them or their kid/s. Why are you chasing him? Why do you think he owes you something? In his mind you look crazy and everyone else observing the nonsense thinks the same. It’s just tearing you apart trying to make him miserable because he’s doesn’t care and you’re wasting energy on something that’s not going to change.

I used to find myself acting out, no one is perfect. Little things used to upset me so much that I would pop up outside the house yelling and screaming. He would never come out to entertain me, but rather, send a text asking, “Are you done?” I wasn’t winning I was losing. I had to take a step back and analyze the situation because this wasn’t who I was, the hurt made me become a monster that I didn’t recognize…

I’ve heard of women dropping kids off in the middle of the night just to spite men. Who’s that hurting? The man or your child? The child you woke up in the middle of the night to get dressed to go to his/her father’s house, just because you felt like starting a fight about something. All he’s going to do is open the door for his kid and slam it in your face. You just wasted your time and interrupted your child’s sleep. You know when he doesn’t care anymore, just leave it alone. Especially if he can’t provide for his child. Why waste energy on it?

The time you spend trying to make his life miserable is time wasted. I know, both of you had this good thing and it fell apart and now he’s probably having good times with someone else. Your feelings are hurt and it’s OK to feel hurt, but hurt feelings make women do dumb sh*t. You have to move on, don’t be dumb for more than six months, baby girl. That’s not the only time you will get your feelings hurt, you can’t show your ass to everyone that hurts you.

And sometimes, it’s about the lack of respect, you just want respect, but if you weren’t getting it before, you’re not going to get it now.

Then there’s the girl who’s trying to be spiteful because he doesn’t want her. He’s doing everything for his children, but just because he moved on, you’re mad. You keep the kid/s away from him because you know that will hurt him. Don’t do it, it’s petty and you need time to yourself. Who better to leave the kids with than their father? You didn’t make them by yourself, so stop acting like you did. If he’s going to help, let him. You need help, you’re not superwoman, you can do it by yourself, but you don’t have to. Being a single parent isn’t a trend. I don’t know anyone who would volunteer to be a single parent, being a parent is hard, being a single parent is harder. Drop the kid/s off, spend time with yourself. Get your mind off him and do something fun. Take the time that you have alone to teach yourself how to move on.

Fall For Someone Who Deserves To catch You

You have to focus on yourself and your own responsibilities. You can’t kill yourself over someone that’s not even going to come to your funeral. The move on might be hard, but the stand still is harder. Don’t waste your energy on it, focus on how you’re going to get better. If you’re not taking care of yourself, how can you find the strength to take care of anyone else? What are you teaching the ones that look up to you? There will be times where you lose focus, but always get back on track, don’t let it last more than a moment. Don’t hold yourself back.

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About WhoIsKayJames

Just a single girl in the city, having fun while being a cool ass mom...