BabeLand: Beyond A BlowJob

So, you’ve read the title, now it’s time for the story…

I decided to go to a blowjob class. My homegirl introduced me to the idea a while ago, usually the girls agree to do things but never follow through and after about a year of procrastination, I decided to go. Before I went I told my friends that I was going, we all giggled at it, but they all wanted a recap after I was done…

OK, so let me give you a disclaimer, my disclaimer is, by no means am I trying to tell anyone just go out there giving head to any and everyone. Blowjobs should be given to your partner; someone that you’re in a “relationship” with and you also have to feel comfortable with the person because you don’t want to be giving out blowjobs to total strangers, racking up miles on your mouth, right? Exactly.

So, that day I tried to get ready early to TRY to be on time for my class (TRY being the operative word) because I was kinda excited to go, well, I think I was more curious than excited. I ended up getting there about fifteen minutes late (Which, is early for me). I didn’t miss much, they were just getting started, so I grabbed a plastic cup of free wine and took a seat. As I looked around, the room wasn’t too ethnically diverse, there were about four black girls including myself in a room of about twenty-seven guests. Black women really hate giving blowjobs, huh? LOL. I would say the age range was between 27 and 50. There was one couple there, which I thought was cool, but most people were there to spice up their sex life for their boyfriend or husband, needless to say, I was most likely the only single person there.

Anyway, the instructor dove right into “blowjob vocabulary” such as: cock, dick, frenulum (frenulum?), deep throat, etc. Everyone asked, “what is ‘frenulum’?” apparently the frenulum is that little V-part on the head of the penis, she said it’s a really sensitive part of the penis that men enjoy. The first session of the class was more about techniques to build up the anticipation before the blowjob, such as, talking dirty via text, email or call. If some people weren’t comfortable doing this, she gave techniques on how to talk dirty without thinking that you sound stupid or corny (which is me all the way, I just couldn’t imagine myself talking dirty without sounding like a dork!) she told us to talk dirty while doing household activities such as washing dishes, so it’ll go something like this..”oh, I hate these dirty dishes! You want me to clean you huh? Oh yea, let me clean these filthy dishes. Do you like when I pour this soap on the sponge? Mmmmm, you like that? I’m going to wash you now, you like when I rub the sponge on you? Yea you like that…” I can’t go on anymore because the shit is hilarious. I won’t be doing it though, but I think I did a really good job at writing it, maybe I should send dirty notes instead of talking dirty…

The second session was about the blowjob. She spoke about how to elongate your throat without gagging, but apparently men like gagging, so gag or pretend to gag, they love it. She spoke about tongue techniques, hand and mouth techniques and teasing. The most weirdest part of this entire class for me was when she spoke about prostate stimulation. So, now bear with me, you might think I’m slow, but I guess I didn’t know the male anatomy as well as I thought I did because I thought the prostate were testicles. IT’S NOT! in order to get to the prostate, you have to put your fingers in the anus. I guess I thought it was testicles because, it produces semen. So, I thought there was some kinda gland in his balls that’s called prostate. Therefore, “prostate stimulation” in my mind is like, giving his balls a massage. I was totally wrong. It’s me sticking some fingers in his ass … umm, just count me out on that one because men don’t know how to wipe their ass properly after taking a shit, I don’t want shit on my fingers and honestly, think it’s nasty. Sue me. Call me closed minded, a prude or whatever else, I don’t care. Oh, and “rimming” is licking the outside of his butt-hole (a little FYI for ya). Anything that has to deal with a man’s shitty ass, count me OUT! If you enjoy doing it great, I’m not judging.

She ended it off with a recap and asked if anyone had questions, one person had the nerve to ask about “rimming” again, smh, why? As for the nice couple in the class, they had a paper full of notes. So, I’m guessing they were going to have a pretty eventful night.

What did I learn? I learned that I will not ever stimulate the prostate, I learned ways that I can elongate my throat, I learned how to talk dirty without sounding like a dork, I learned that the frenulum is that spot :wink, wink:, I learned what “rimming” is and that I will never do it, I learned that black women need to be giving their man blowjobs because these white girls are giving out, I learned that as you get older blowjobs isn’t taboo anymore; no ones gonna look at you funny if you admit to doing it; they might ask for pointers, I also learned a couple of other things that I won’t tell you about, go pay for your own class like I did.

Before I went to bed, I called my cousin and told her about the class, we both chuckled at the fact that I actually went through with the class. I told her about some of the highlights and that I had some handouts for her. Then, I called it a night. My night didn’t end as well as those two lucky people in the class, but all in all, a very interesting and fun night.

Next up, Speed dating.

Sex is too important not to be done right… – Michael E. Reid

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About WhoIsKayJames

Just a single girl in the city, having fun while being a cool ass mom...