The Single, Working Mom…

Parenting shit is ridiculously, unbelievably… hard. It’s extremely hard for those who have a full time job and/or go to school. So, my hats off to those who do it because I know where you’re coming from. I’m not taking away from those who take care of their child/ren full time, but those who have other things going on, are sometimes criticized….

We are often criticized by our elders. The ones that say, “When I was your age, I didn’t have any help. I did everything on my own with no complaints and I had 8 kids, you only have one! And you have help!”

Umm, thanks, I need it, I work and you are his grandmother, right?

Well, back in those days, women had a men that worked, provided and thought that a woman’s job was to stay at home with the kids. So, he worked extra hard to “bring home the bacon”

Now, most women aren’t living in the same household as the man who helped bring their  child into the world. Most times, the child lives with their mother and a lot of times men have their own thing going on and always have an excuse to why they “can’t today” or they’re just picking up and dropping off.

Now for me, I work, my son just turned into a teen, but when his dad and I parted ways shit got hard. His father wasn’t there most of the time to pick him up or take him to school, because he was working and we never sat down to talk about arrangements because we hated each other at the time, lol (there was no way to sugarcoat that, lol) so a lot times I relied in his mom, because she was closer to my apartment than my mother and the school was also closer to her.

But that took a turn for the worse, because she had an issue with numerous things; (As if I wasn’t doing a drop off at the crack of dawn) so of course, his hair may not be brushed, his breakfast might be cold, he may have on two different socks, he might’ve forgotten his gloves or scarf, his phone may not have been fully charged, his face might be ashy, but I was expecting her to pick up where I was lacking, he didn’t have to be to the bus stop til 7:30. Besides, her son was probably in NREM Stage 3 sleep, while we were up going back and forth.

I’ve always been a working mom, when I was in the Army, my son would be at daycare for 5am.

Working moms are tired!

There are times when I get home and have to cook, yet I’m exhausted, but if I don’t cook then, what are we going to eat? So, I usually wash the dishes before I cook, but the dishes after I cook has to be done the next day. There are times when I don’t even want to check homework,

Me laying in bed…

Me: Is this homework right?

My son: yea, I got it!

Me: I gotta sign this, don’t make me sign something that look and sound crazy! Don’t make me look bad!

:signs homework hoping it’s right:

On my days off my mom often calls and ask this famous question she asks every time I’m off,

Mom: “What are you gonna do around the house today?”

Me: “Well, the first thing I’ll do is… SLEEP! Then I’ll get things done later, thanks Ma, talk to you later”

:hangs up:

See, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. After she got us ready for school, her job was to do the housework; cook, clean, wash clothes and whatever other errands she had to run for the day.

As for the working mom, she has to do all that, plus work a full-time or part time job and/or go to school.

You have your job at home… Your job at work… Your job a school….And your job to take care of yourself.

There are times when I wash clothes and don’t put them away until the next week, only because I have to wash a new set of clothes. Wash day never lets me catch up. It comes so fast, and that’s when I realize, I still have all the clothes to put away from last weeks wash day. What is my life about?? Lol.

Often times, my car is filled with shoes, hats, sweaters, Tupperware; my son eats his breakfast in the back and leave crumbs, the container and/or the bag that it came in.

I don’t live in my car so, it takes a hit. Either I keep my house clean or my car. I often choose my home. My car gets cleaned when I get around to it. I’m only in my car for a short period of time, so I’m not totally disgusted by it. I make sure I clean it before someone comes in it though, by throwing all the things in the passenger seat, to the backseat. 

There’s not enough hours in the day to get everything done and as humans we have to learn how to balance and not burn ourselves out. Extra hands are very helpful when you’re able to get some and we appreciate all the help, but cut us some slack, no one’s perfect.

I read this on someone’s post on instagram, it said: 

“Some days, she has no idea how she’ll do it. But every single day, it gets done”

Photo: My son and I ❤

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About WhoIsKayJames

Just a single girl in the city, having fun while being a cool ass mom...