A Couple of months ago I read something on instagram that said, “Re-post, if you’re faithful to a single n*gga”. People were re-posting and making fun of it, but in my mind I was wondering, why? Why re-post something that you know you’re not happy with? Why agree with it? Why not change your situation?
So, I brought this to my estranged husband’s attention, (yes, we can actually have a conversation about relationships without ripping each other’s head off … for now) he asked me, “did it ever occur to you that they don’t want to be with anyone else, but that man? Even though she knows he’s out there smashing everything he sees?”… it never occurred to me because I didn’t think anyone would put themselves in a situation that would emotionally destroy them. Who would be so dumb, right?
Shame on me for judging…
Men these days do a lot to convince women to stay. They do extra to convince women to be only with them while they’re out, “doing them”. Taking women on trips, dinner, meeting the family, getting to know the kids even telling women they love them. So, it’s easy for her to not want to be with anyone else because he’s doing everything that a man in a relationship is supposed to do, but he’s telling her, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.
I think that’s grounds for someone to go crazy … And I say that because, his actions are showing something totally different from what his mouth is saying.
I don’t understand how and why men do this. Why waste your time with someone that you’re not looking for a relationship with?
Doing relationship things, but not wanting to be in a relationship is giving the other person mixed signals.
So, shame on me for judging, because these women are getting all the ingredients of a relationship, not knowing that it’s a recipe for disaster.
Some men would say that, she knew what she was getting herself into. That he was upfront with her and she agreed. While all that may be true, most women who agree to those terms and conditions aren’t expecting men to act like they’re in a relationship, at least I wouldn’t, I would expect things to be very basic. I wouldn’t expect him to be mad if I talk to other guys, I don’t expect him to be mad if I go out, I wouldn’t expect him to be mad if I ignore his calls/texts. So, when these things start bothering him, I think you’re well within your rights to ask him, if he wants to reconsider his relationship status.
So, I guess it is easy to be “faithful to a single n*gga” if he’s giving you everything you’re looking for, right? I don’t know, but what I do know is … the happiness is temporary and the situation will most likely stay the same. Men only do what women allow. If we keep accepting half of a commitment, that’s all we’re going to get. You’re not giving him half a woman because you’re being “faithful” so why are you allowing him to give you half of a relationship?
I’m not saying that it can’t work, it might be able to work for those who can keep their feelings at bay and not become attached and even that won’t last long because you will eventually become attached. No matter how much you convince yourself that it’s not bothering you, eventually, it will.
So pick your battles wisely ladies. Everything that’s good to you ain’t good for you..
“The scariest part about loyalty is
the fact that no matter how loyal you are,
if who you’re loyal to is not as loyal as you,
your loyalty will always be your downfall.
When they can’t answer your question,
they’ll question why you asked them.
When you ask for more, you’ll be called selfish.
When you ask for better, you’ll be called greedy.
When you ask for reciprocity,
they’ll ask you for a dictionary.
Instead of constantly asking someone why they can’t be loyal back to you,
ask yourself why you’re being loyal in the first place…” – Michael E. Ried, Dear Woman